29 Jan WHEN ROGUE WAVES COME
No one can look into the unseen to see a rogue wave coming. God alone knows what is headed toward us. A rogue wave rises suddenly and massively, without warning, slamming you with the destructive power of Hell. But God will ride it out with us, dispelling its harmful energy, conquering it with us and for us in the intimacy of collaboration, if we will let Him. He is often already preparing us, before it comes, which we will recognize only in looking back. As I packed for a 4-night visit to my Mom to celebrate her 96th birthday, I just happened to toss two extra strips of contacts into my bag. I had no idea that my sister and I would be staying another five nights, and that I would open the last pair on my last morning away from home.
We will taste both Heaven and Hell in our mortal life, with Heaven gaining the advantage as we hold on to what is true. Truth is Heaven’s language, its plumb line, its unassailable fortress, and our soul’s refuge.
Heaven is the eternal unseen dimension permeating space, time, matter and mind. It is a realm we have no means to measure or quantify, but with which we are uniquely able to interact. It is the realm where God alone can lead us, To apprehend Heaven is to transcend Hell on earth. Hell also has a place in the unseen realm. It also permeates space, time, matter and mind. But it is beneath, meaning it is inferior to and opposite to heaven in every aspect. It is destruction personified. It is horrific. We experience it in innumerable ways: in alcoholism, drug addiction, cancer, Parkinson’s, dementia, mental illness or any other disease unbearable to watch as it destroys the one you love.
It is important to set one thing straight: Hell was not created by God. It came into being in the primordial rebellion of mighty spiritual beings in ages past. Decades ago I was trying to work out how a good God could allow sin, death, and destruction. And I had a vision. I saw a sparkling stream of light, life and goodness flowing down–every good and perfect gift from above, coming down from the Father of lights. (James 1:17) And then I saw a dark hand reach up, grasp and twist it. From the twist downward, the same stream instantaneously turned into darkness, death and destruction. Hell is God’s original intent twisted, just as truth can be twisted into a lie and life can be twisted into death. Hell reigns in twisted thinking.
We knew that Mom was in cognitive decline, but upon our arrival, it became immediately evident that we had to move her to memory care. We went to work. One of Mom’s simple joys is to sit in the sun; that Monday morning a room just happened to open up with a huge window filling it with sunshine. Tuesday morning, maintenance just happened to have an opening in their schedule to move her furniture. After a dozen calls, a 5×5 storage unit just happened to become available the hour before and minutes away. We spent all day Wednesday creating a sanctuary of beauty for her. Thursday we moved her in. Our friend Mick just happened to have Friday open to divide and deliver the rest of her things to donation, auction, and storage. But even though we worked until we dropped, we knew we were not going to be ready by Friday. A winter storm came barreling in, and Mick called to postpone the move, offering to make it Saturday.
God’s orchestration of even minor details stirred wonder, awe and raw gratitude in me. (Heaven) But any change for a person with dementia brings great anxiety. (Hell) The rogue wave began to rise. Mom was aware that we were dissolving her home, but defenseless to stop it. As she succumbed to feeling overwhelmed, we watched Hell break over her. It was brutal: sweeping not only her thinking but her body and circumstances as well. We found her howling in unbearable pain from the apparent return of a UTI. She was in agony, riddled with anxiety. being ripped from her only security. Her first evening in her new home she had to be catheterized and I listened to her scream, crying out my name. During the day, her floor had been a loving, efficient, competent place. But at night it was like the crazies came out. A woman moaning loudly down the hall. A woman half dressed wandering aimlessly. Someone kept crying out loudly, “Please stop! Please stop!” Over and over. I won’t describe more, but it freaked us out. My sister, Christi, cried all night. I was numb. Hell’s rogue wave was sweeping us into itself, as well.
It became evident that the enemy was throwing sights and sounds at us Thursday night to undo us. I awoke Friday morning praying fiercely. I took authority over Mom’s room and quoted my Lord’s promise that the gates of Hell would not prevail. I prayed that He would rule and reign over her, keeping her, making His face shine upon her. Like Moses stretching his hand over the waters or Jesus speaking to the stormy sea, I laid hold of God’s willingness to take command. The change was nothing short of miraculous. We drove cautiously through the winter storm Friday morning to find Mom rested, smiling, happy, and at peace. Dressed by staff. Cheerful and bright. On a new antibiotic. Having already had a visit from physical and occupational therapy. There are things God wants to do, but He will not do, apart from us.
Warring against Hell’s rogue waves exhausts you. Christi and I were shattered by our mother’s decline. But God knew. I clung to His presence as we rode it out. His collaboration with Christi was amazing as she paced out the move, business call by business call. He was orchestrating every detail through her efforts, so that they came together perfectly, confirming His presence with us again and again … Heaven transcending Hell. It was truly the best of times.It was the worst of times. We left Mom in her new room, a sanctuary of beauty, surrounded by her paintings and treasured photos, reminding her of who she is and the ones she has loved. Every inch of Christi’s and my battle bore the mark of His care and His orchestration of details. Do I hate what has happened to Mom? Do I cringe at Hell’s advance? Yes. But we are more than conquerors, because of Him Who loves us. And oh yes, The Delta Airlines agent noted that she had just snagged the last seat available for my flight home.
Rogue waves will be coming this year. They will mount up against us, carrying the power of Hell. I won’t minimize how devastating they may be. But what is meant for evil will be turned for good. It will be the worst of times. It will be the best of times, for those who know where their help lies.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
and my place of safety.
I called on the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
and he saved me from my enemies.
Psalm 18:2-3 (NLT)
******************************************
I write this with thanksgiving for the prayers of my friends, who faithfully streamed Heaven to Christi and me. You know who you are. ❤️